Post by magnus on Aug 14, 2012 22:32:21 GMT -5
~Scene One
" I don't care what you think, he stays!"
" Ryan, this guys a f*ckin' creep plus He knocked Mikey out."
" good, I hate that guy. "
" No one wants him here. "
" 'Cept I do! It's my shore, my rules! Magnus is good for ratings. "
" Well we're taking a vote."
" In Soviet Russia, Ryan Blake decides you. "
" What?"
" No votes, Vinny. I have decided, Magnus stays. End of story. "
~ Scene Two
The Jersey Shore cast sits around the living room, their normal antics and party atmosphere has been disrupted by the arrival of Magnus into the house. His first meeting with them the didn't go smoothly. The house is split on how they feel about him but some are willing to give him the chance.
Could they change his ways and Guido him up or will his Russian straight shooter personality be a constant road block in their plans? how do they party? How do they Smoosh? For all they know, Magnus is a serial killer, even though they might welcome that fact. Death before they settle down an act normal, death before giving up the GTL life style. Death, Magnus can arrange that.
Amidst their rambling, Magnus walks into the room, drinking straight up from the carton of milk. With the angle, you'd think the milk will be all over his face, neck, chest and floor but he downs the entire carton and crushes in his hand.
Pauly - Dude, was that my almond milk?
Magnus - No, 'dis waz Magnus milk.
Paul - no way Magoo, thats my milk, everyone knows it.
Magnus - Now it 'tiz magnus.
Pauly - What do you mean, yours?
Magnus - Magnus house, Magnus milk. Vhy youz still here? Leavez. Leavez now bevore Magnus KA-RUSH you.
Vinny - Na, this our house. OUR house. We live here.
Magnus - Now Magnus doz.
JWoW - Who told you that you could live here anyway?
Magnus - Mista Blake. He toldz me 'dat ' diz waz my new homez. Who toldz youz dat youz livez here?
Mike - MTV.
Magnus - Vhat iz MTV's?
Snookie - Hello?! Earth to crazy French guy! All this is MTV!
Magnus - Youz on Din ize cave bear. Only reazonz I havnt snapped ur neck yet iz cuz dey teach youz to wear cloths and dislocate you hipz. But I vatchingz youz.
Vinny - It's what ever guys, at least we're gettin paid. Just stay out of our way Magoo.
Magnus - Blake payz youz?
Vinny - MTV pays us for being on TV. This is a TV show. They don't have TV shows were you're from?
Magnus - No TV out in Siberia, only voodz an zno.
Pauly - Then why are you were?
Magnus - Magnus waz Olympic rassler. Came to America to rassle. Mista Blake iz my boz.
Pauly - like WWE?
Magnus - Vat iz double E'z? Magnus vorkz vor UW an A'z.
Mike -That jersey f*ck down the road?
Magnus - Magnus not knoz? But dz not talkz bout Mista Blake like dat or Magnus choke you out.
Vinny - no, no more of that.
magnus - Den vash Magnus Laundriz. Magnus haz to train hard for his match verze Vest an Green. Both have said na-tingz. Both R 'fraid of magnus. Both vill fall to Magnus an hiz Russian Superiority. Magnus vill vin hiz verzt match and bring pride to UW of A'z and to motha Russia.
Mike - I don't trust you.
Magnus - Never trust a Russian, only 'diz. Iv youz try Magnus, you will fail.
Pauly - Like Soviet Russia?!
Magnus - Diz joke. houz vull of Siberian Lion room matez talk ill bout Motha Russia, none of them leave alive. Funny? Yez! Tru, Yez!
Magnus shoots Pauly a look and starts laughing hard , everyone nervously joins in and loud, then Magnus stops and goes stone face as everyone again suddenly stops, unsure what to do as Magnus abruptly leaves the room.
