Post by Classy J on Feb 9, 2012 20:48:02 GMT -5
Callahan would be set his car into a parking space at a little apartment complex, it was pretty late at night, well past midnight. Exiting the car with Jacket and Fruit Punch smelling fedora in hand, he'd climb the stairs to his floor and enter his little apartment. It was a very nice looking apartment, it was all cleaned up and had not expensive looking furniture, but very comfortable looking furniture to say the least. It wasn't that he was broke, contrary to Manabu's belief, but it was that he didn't need a bigger place than this, he wasn't starting a family any time soon. Anyways, he would work on airdrying his fedora and spraying it down with some febreeze or whatever, he'd have to figure out a way to get the stains out but for now this would do, plus he always carried a spare fedora if he thought it looked tacky.
THE NEXT DAY
He had woken up early and headed to work at the arena, deciding to get his early morning exercise there. Specifically he'd be in one of the locker rooms, there was plenty of space nearby for him to do his stretches and limber up so he was taking full advantage of that. Stretching out his legs mostly but he didn't forget his arms and his back, he had to be in full condition, this was a steel cage after all.
Stopping to take a break, Classy strolled over to his gym bag to pull out a water bottle and sip from in when suddenly.
"Mr. Callahan --"
Classy spun around and misted Jake Ego with the water.
"Oh woah hey sorry Jake, it's a reflex to douchebags."
He'd see that Jake was distracted with water in his eyes and would shrug, putting on a pinstripe suit jacket for the ppv and a pinstripe hat to match. Deciding he'd wear something to match Joanne's outfit for tonight, thinking it would be cool, no other reason than that.
Heading out of the locker room he'd begin to stroll the halls of the arena. It was filled with people getting ready, this was a big day after all, the flat line pay per view! Named after Scott Steiner's finisher no less! At least that's what Classy hoped it was named after.
However, he wasn't just wondering around aimlessly, he was actually in search of the wending machines, they wouldn't be too hard to find, of course he had to get out of backstage first, that might be difficult. But sure enough he found the door to the main hallway of the arena, the food vendors were getting ready with food and a little ways off would be a vending machine with food!
He'd look both ways because he didn't want to get accosted by any interviewers, he was sure Jake was on the prowl for him.
Once the cost was clear he'd stroll across and look at the vending machine to see what he wanted. Unfortunately he would be interrupted by the tap of fingers coming from a girly hand.
Classy would turn around to address Mathew.
"Whaaat? Can't a guy choose his junk food without being questioned?"
Mathew seemed to ignore J's taunting, being a professional journalist and getting straight to the questions.
"Classy, Manabu once again seems to have directed a lot of his anger towards you, are you worried at all when he says he's going to expose you?"
He'd turn to face Matthew, shaking his head for a moment.
"What's he gonna do? 'Oh I pinned you you're poor and can't wrestle' good job, I got sloppy and set you up for your finisher in a triple threat match, that's great. It's cute isn't it? He keeps bragging about he's a real wrestler and how I'm some sort of fraud and keeps asking me to cash in my briefcase, I didn't even bring it with me tonight because I'm not here to cash in, I'm here to whoop some ass!
Manabu sounds like he's starting to get a little full of himself, I think that title might be starting to go to his head don't you think? See that's why I don't like titles, once you have them it starts to change you and you start getting obsessed with keeping it. No Manabu, nothing you can say will make me use that title contract on you, so you can keep on blabbing and calling me poor all you want. Like I said, some of us aren't handed opportunities because we come from great families, some of us gotta work for it. I sure as hell worked to get to where I am, and I'll have you know the guy who taught me isn't some nobody, he's faught the likes of Ken shamrock, inventor of the ankle lock! But I guess you wouldn't know who that is, because MMA isn't wrestling. That might be true but it does teach you something that you seem to be lacking heavily in: Submission.
You brag about being the most technically whatever wrestler in the company and yet I haven't seen you make anyone tap out."
At this point he'd start to do a mock asian accent to impersonate Manabu.
'I do three dragon suplexes, I'm master technician! You broke classy J! Manabu greatest, father said so!'
"Good for you, want a fucking cookie? You haven't made anyone that matters tap out to anything so you can't go saying you're the greatest teachnical guy on the roster until then. Unless you've been confusing 'technical' for 'técnico' this whole time, someone who's so inflated about himself would do something like that. But let's give you the benefit of a doubt here. And assume you're bragging about your ability to do wrestling moves in a wrestling match."
Classy would pull out a dollar...well $1.50 to be exact and slip it into the vending machine. While deciding what he'd want he'd continue.
"If you ask me Matthew, Manabu is absolutely obsessed over me, keeps going on and on about how broke and inexperienced I am like it'll be true. Like I said last week, I was only joking about the broke part, but I think that and the fact that 'Manitee' and 'Manabu' sound similar seems to have all gone over Fujiwara's fauxhawk."
"Manabu also mocked your ability due to your tendency to do what some including myself would call dirty fighting, and that you have no honor. What are your thoughts on that?"
"That's great Manabu can knock me all he wants for enjoying the option of using chairs but the fact is that's what wrestling involves these days."
So, Manabu, if you don't got it, get it, and if you don't get it...."
He'd wave his index finger to the side and then back all the way around to the vending machine.
"Figure it out.
Not that that's going to matter tonight....."
Suddenly Classy spun around and got into super exciting match hype mode where everything he did was much more energetic.
"TONIGHT...is a CAGE MATCH! While I've never been in one of those let me assure you that all you need to win aside from being able to render your opponent unable to move is good climbing ability or the ability to say 'Ref open the cage' because that's still a thing despite how it ruins the excitement of the match!
I don't exactly know if pinfalls and tap outs are still in play but the fact is, Manabu's a bit on the pudgy side so it's not going to be so easy for him to climb out of here. But I don't think he truly understands the predicament he's in.
Not only is this a CAGE MATCH, this is a TORNADO. CAGE. MATCH. It's two on two at all times. Fortunately for Manabu, the majority of issues my team has is with Jake, but since he's still bad mouthing me like it's going out of style he's got me to deal with and since I'm pretty sure Joanne doesn't like being badmouthed either, Manabu isn't out of our line of sights completely."
"Speaking of Joanne, everyone seems to think you two are still datin--"
"Yeah, I noticed that....don't get the wrong idea, I'm not repulsed by her, she's a got some gams on her as they used to say, and I don't consider age a factor but there are a few things stopping us from dating. First off, she's dating her bodyguard Reno, I'm not a homewrecker Mathew, Reno's a big motherfucker and I don't wanna do something like that because when a guy like that gets mad enough, they stop feeling pain. Second off, her ties to the mob, I just don't need that kind of baggage. It's a strictly business, professional relationship that she and I have. I guess Manabu and Jake have difficulty understanding that not all women are shallow bimbos like that ones they're dating. I don't know much about that cammy broad but anyone who thinks this...."
He'd turn around and do the 'fauxhawk' sign with his hand on his head.
"...is attractive has problems. Besides, she's prolly just after him for the money, like I said, he's a pudgy little fuck. She ain't much of a looker herself either."
"And what of Jake's girlfriend?"
"How much time we got Mathew? Whatsherface is one of the worst kind of women, one of those ghetto white trash broads who go around with the fake tan and the shitty looking hairdos, wasting their time getting drunk and partying instead of doing something with their lives. Odds are she's only with Jake because he's got money and she doesn't have to work being in the relationship so that gives her more time to party."
He'd hit some buttons on the vending machine and then turn to face Mathew.
"But that's not my issue with her, my issue is the fact that she ruined my hat. That hat is more valuable than the 20 tit jobs and 2 nose jobs she's gotten and I don't take kindly to people trashing it to make a statement. But at the same time, despite her tough guy talk, she ain't a fighter, so as fun as it would be I'm not going to cause any physical harm to her. I'll have to take it out on her boyfriend."
"Jake I'm sure you were just trying to make a statement and get some attention by hitting a woman with a chair. Unfortunately I don't think this is the kind of attention you were looking for. This cage match isn't in no way shape or form in your favor, you've got two people incredibly pissed off at you on one side, and on your side you've got someone else not very fond of you. It's funny because all this is because of you doing shit in order to get attention. Looks like you got yourself in over your head."
"Also it's obvious you don't have control over your relationship, with whatshertits stealing your car, maybe you need to get your life straightened out before you go trying to get anyone elses attention or making any more statements with chairs, cuz eventually someone's gonna try and make a statement with your car. I'll give you a hint, that someone's probably gonna be me.
Because while no taunting from Manabu is gonna make me cash in my briefcase on him, I'll be more than happy to use that title contract on you. Just keep that in mind, because I don't plan on cashing it in like everyone else......"
At this point Ashley would be strolling by minding her own business. This gave Classy an idea.
"Oh, and just so people stop with the rumors about my relationship with Joanne, not just for her sake, but so Reno doesn't eventually become agitated with me......"
He'd poke Ashley on the shoulder, when she spun around he'd wave to her.
"Hey, let me apologize in advance."
He'd grab her about the shoulder, pulling her in for a long passionate kiss. Most likely the crowd would start hooting and hollering over this but soon he'd break the kiss and pat Ashley on the head before sending her, dazed and confused, along her way.
"If I were in a relationship I wouldn't be allowed to do that would I?"
The janitor would hollar from down the hall. "MAYBE YER A POLLY-GAMMIST"
"Fredward shut up! You're pronouncing it wrong!"
He'd laugh and thumb in fredward's direction.
"What a guy huh? Pollygammist, what's that?"
He'd say before glaring down the hallway again.
"All I know is that I'm ready for this, I just hope Manabu and Jake realize what they're in before the match actually starts."
Classy would take his power bar from the vending machine and bite into it.
"Yummy, grape flavor."
And then he strolled on down the hallway, leaving Mathew their to contemplate his future.
THE NEXT DAY
He had woken up early and headed to work at the arena, deciding to get his early morning exercise there. Specifically he'd be in one of the locker rooms, there was plenty of space nearby for him to do his stretches and limber up so he was taking full advantage of that. Stretching out his legs mostly but he didn't forget his arms and his back, he had to be in full condition, this was a steel cage after all.
Stopping to take a break, Classy strolled over to his gym bag to pull out a water bottle and sip from in when suddenly.
"Mr. Callahan --"
Classy spun around and misted Jake Ego with the water.
"Oh woah hey sorry Jake, it's a reflex to douchebags."
He'd see that Jake was distracted with water in his eyes and would shrug, putting on a pinstripe suit jacket for the ppv and a pinstripe hat to match. Deciding he'd wear something to match Joanne's outfit for tonight, thinking it would be cool, no other reason than that.
Heading out of the locker room he'd begin to stroll the halls of the arena. It was filled with people getting ready, this was a big day after all, the flat line pay per view! Named after Scott Steiner's finisher no less! At least that's what Classy hoped it was named after.
However, he wasn't just wondering around aimlessly, he was actually in search of the wending machines, they wouldn't be too hard to find, of course he had to get out of backstage first, that might be difficult. But sure enough he found the door to the main hallway of the arena, the food vendors were getting ready with food and a little ways off would be a vending machine with food!
He'd look both ways because he didn't want to get accosted by any interviewers, he was sure Jake was on the prowl for him.
Once the cost was clear he'd stroll across and look at the vending machine to see what he wanted. Unfortunately he would be interrupted by the tap of fingers coming from a girly hand.
Classy would turn around to address Mathew.
"Whaaat? Can't a guy choose his junk food without being questioned?"
Mathew seemed to ignore J's taunting, being a professional journalist and getting straight to the questions.
"Classy, Manabu once again seems to have directed a lot of his anger towards you, are you worried at all when he says he's going to expose you?"
He'd turn to face Matthew, shaking his head for a moment.
"What's he gonna do? 'Oh I pinned you you're poor and can't wrestle' good job, I got sloppy and set you up for your finisher in a triple threat match, that's great. It's cute isn't it? He keeps bragging about he's a real wrestler and how I'm some sort of fraud and keeps asking me to cash in my briefcase, I didn't even bring it with me tonight because I'm not here to cash in, I'm here to whoop some ass!
Manabu sounds like he's starting to get a little full of himself, I think that title might be starting to go to his head don't you think? See that's why I don't like titles, once you have them it starts to change you and you start getting obsessed with keeping it. No Manabu, nothing you can say will make me use that title contract on you, so you can keep on blabbing and calling me poor all you want. Like I said, some of us aren't handed opportunities because we come from great families, some of us gotta work for it. I sure as hell worked to get to where I am, and I'll have you know the guy who taught me isn't some nobody, he's faught the likes of Ken shamrock, inventor of the ankle lock! But I guess you wouldn't know who that is, because MMA isn't wrestling. That might be true but it does teach you something that you seem to be lacking heavily in: Submission.
You brag about being the most technically whatever wrestler in the company and yet I haven't seen you make anyone tap out."
At this point he'd start to do a mock asian accent to impersonate Manabu.
'I do three dragon suplexes, I'm master technician! You broke classy J! Manabu greatest, father said so!'
"Good for you, want a fucking cookie? You haven't made anyone that matters tap out to anything so you can't go saying you're the greatest teachnical guy on the roster until then. Unless you've been confusing 'technical' for 'técnico' this whole time, someone who's so inflated about himself would do something like that. But let's give you the benefit of a doubt here. And assume you're bragging about your ability to do wrestling moves in a wrestling match."
Classy would pull out a dollar...well $1.50 to be exact and slip it into the vending machine. While deciding what he'd want he'd continue.
"If you ask me Matthew, Manabu is absolutely obsessed over me, keeps going on and on about how broke and inexperienced I am like it'll be true. Like I said last week, I was only joking about the broke part, but I think that and the fact that 'Manitee' and 'Manabu' sound similar seems to have all gone over Fujiwara's fauxhawk."
"Manabu also mocked your ability due to your tendency to do what some including myself would call dirty fighting, and that you have no honor. What are your thoughts on that?"
"That's great Manabu can knock me all he wants for enjoying the option of using chairs but the fact is that's what wrestling involves these days."
So, Manabu, if you don't got it, get it, and if you don't get it...."
He'd wave his index finger to the side and then back all the way around to the vending machine.
"Figure it out.
Not that that's going to matter tonight....."
Suddenly Classy spun around and got into super exciting match hype mode where everything he did was much more energetic.
"TONIGHT...is a CAGE MATCH! While I've never been in one of those let me assure you that all you need to win aside from being able to render your opponent unable to move is good climbing ability or the ability to say 'Ref open the cage' because that's still a thing despite how it ruins the excitement of the match!
I don't exactly know if pinfalls and tap outs are still in play but the fact is, Manabu's a bit on the pudgy side so it's not going to be so easy for him to climb out of here. But I don't think he truly understands the predicament he's in.
Not only is this a CAGE MATCH, this is a TORNADO. CAGE. MATCH. It's two on two at all times. Fortunately for Manabu, the majority of issues my team has is with Jake, but since he's still bad mouthing me like it's going out of style he's got me to deal with and since I'm pretty sure Joanne doesn't like being badmouthed either, Manabu isn't out of our line of sights completely."
"Speaking of Joanne, everyone seems to think you two are still datin--"
"Yeah, I noticed that....don't get the wrong idea, I'm not repulsed by her, she's a got some gams on her as they used to say, and I don't consider age a factor but there are a few things stopping us from dating. First off, she's dating her bodyguard Reno, I'm not a homewrecker Mathew, Reno's a big motherfucker and I don't wanna do something like that because when a guy like that gets mad enough, they stop feeling pain. Second off, her ties to the mob, I just don't need that kind of baggage. It's a strictly business, professional relationship that she and I have. I guess Manabu and Jake have difficulty understanding that not all women are shallow bimbos like that ones they're dating. I don't know much about that cammy broad but anyone who thinks this...."
He'd turn around and do the 'fauxhawk' sign with his hand on his head.
"...is attractive has problems. Besides, she's prolly just after him for the money, like I said, he's a pudgy little fuck. She ain't much of a looker herself either."
"And what of Jake's girlfriend?"
"How much time we got Mathew? Whatsherface is one of the worst kind of women, one of those ghetto white trash broads who go around with the fake tan and the shitty looking hairdos, wasting their time getting drunk and partying instead of doing something with their lives. Odds are she's only with Jake because he's got money and she doesn't have to work being in the relationship so that gives her more time to party."
He'd hit some buttons on the vending machine and then turn to face Mathew.
"But that's not my issue with her, my issue is the fact that she ruined my hat. That hat is more valuable than the 20 tit jobs and 2 nose jobs she's gotten and I don't take kindly to people trashing it to make a statement. But at the same time, despite her tough guy talk, she ain't a fighter, so as fun as it would be I'm not going to cause any physical harm to her. I'll have to take it out on her boyfriend."
"Jake I'm sure you were just trying to make a statement and get some attention by hitting a woman with a chair. Unfortunately I don't think this is the kind of attention you were looking for. This cage match isn't in no way shape or form in your favor, you've got two people incredibly pissed off at you on one side, and on your side you've got someone else not very fond of you. It's funny because all this is because of you doing shit in order to get attention. Looks like you got yourself in over your head."
"Also it's obvious you don't have control over your relationship, with whatshertits stealing your car, maybe you need to get your life straightened out before you go trying to get anyone elses attention or making any more statements with chairs, cuz eventually someone's gonna try and make a statement with your car. I'll give you a hint, that someone's probably gonna be me.
Because while no taunting from Manabu is gonna make me cash in my briefcase on him, I'll be more than happy to use that title contract on you. Just keep that in mind, because I don't plan on cashing it in like everyone else......"
At this point Ashley would be strolling by minding her own business. This gave Classy an idea.
"Oh, and just so people stop with the rumors about my relationship with Joanne, not just for her sake, but so Reno doesn't eventually become agitated with me......"
He'd poke Ashley on the shoulder, when she spun around he'd wave to her.
"Hey, let me apologize in advance."
He'd grab her about the shoulder, pulling her in for a long passionate kiss. Most likely the crowd would start hooting and hollering over this but soon he'd break the kiss and pat Ashley on the head before sending her, dazed and confused, along her way.
"If I were in a relationship I wouldn't be allowed to do that would I?"
The janitor would hollar from down the hall. "MAYBE YER A POLLY-GAMMIST"
"Fredward shut up! You're pronouncing it wrong!"
He'd laugh and thumb in fredward's direction.
"What a guy huh? Pollygammist, what's that?"
He'd say before glaring down the hallway again.
"All I know is that I'm ready for this, I just hope Manabu and Jake realize what they're in before the match actually starts."
Classy would take his power bar from the vending machine and bite into it.
"Yummy, grape flavor."
And then he strolled on down the hallway, leaving Mathew their to contemplate his future.
