Post by chrischris on Sept 8, 2011 0:23:29 GMT -5
Destined For Greatness:
The Incredibly Unreal Yet True Story Of Chris Chris 001
As seen on Chris Chris' Dailymotion channel, RealChrisChris1310
"Ants Marching" by the Dave Matthews Band plays in the background as the following message scrolls up on the screen.
In a land, far, far away... OK, in Dallas, Texas... there was a man who dreamed of becoming a legend in professional wrestling. Enjoy the ride as this man, Chris Chris, allows you to join him on his journey to greatness.
The shot switches to show Chris Chris, sitting down at a booth inside what looks to be Chili's, specifically the Dallas location found in the Casa Linda Plaza. His hair is spiked up, and he's wearing a blue headband with the Dallas Mavericks emblem on it, a grey Dallas Mavericks 2011 NBA Finals Champions T-shirt, and shades with blue rims. He takes a sip of sweet tea, then proceeds to introduce himself to the viewing audience. It's quite obvious that he's holding an iPhone up, recording this video himself.
What's up, P1s?! I want to thank you for being a part of history, as you are watching the premiere episode of Destined For Greatness: The Incredibly Unreal Yet True Story Of Chris Chris. You see, anybody can post a video on Youtube and get hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of hits. But how many people do you know can get that many views on Dailymotion?! Everybody thinks I'm crazy for putting this show on the Motion. But you see, I'm out to innovate, not imitate! Why do what everybody else is doing and post a show on Youtube when I can be original and post it on Dailymotion? Besides, you'd really have to be breaking some laws or be incredibly stupid to get your video deleted off the Motion, where as the Tube seems to delete vids left and right, ya' know?
Now what exactly is this show all about, you P1s ask? Well it's quite simple. Well, ever since I was a little Chris Chris, I grew up watching wrestling. I idolized the likes of the Von Erichs, the Fabulous Freebirds, Sting, Ultimo Dragon, Brian Pillman, Hulk Hogan, Bret Hart, the Ultimate Warrior, Mr. Perfect, Shawn Michaels, and my all time favorite, "Macho Man" Randy Savage. When I turned 18, I decided to turn that dream into a reality by training with Ak. That's the late, great Skandor Akbar for those of you not so hip. Anyway, me and Ak hit it off quite well, and I seemed to impress him easily, moreso than his other standout student, some scrub by the name of RD Evans. But despite being the best student to come out of Ak's school, I couldn't seem to catch any breaks for the life of me. Mostly because that punk Evans kid lied about me to all the promoters, keeping me from getting booked. But I decided, "You know what? Maybe the wrestling business isn't right for me." So I decided to try a different career, opting to go into the radio business. Sure, I could've gone on the air if I wanted, and I did on several occasions. But man, the real money was in the sales department, joining the SFC... that's Six Figs Club, meaning I made six figures a year... all for selling advertising for a Dallas radio station, 1310 the Ticket.
I was set, man. Got me a nice condo that the Cubes... Mark Cuban for you not so cool folk... Tony Romo, and Mike Modano would all come and visit. On weekends, I'd take them out on the lake in my yacht, and afterwards, we would totally slay it out on the golf course. However, over the years, I couldn't help but feel empty despite all the money, the condos, the cars, the boats, and the nice tail I'd score. And one night, I caught some of the UWA on television, and it hit me. That feeling of emptiness came from giving up on my real dream. My dream of becoming a legend in wrestling, man. Here are guys and gals who can't even string together two wins in a row, yet they can get an action figure and get themselves into a video game. It was enough to make me sick. Then one day, as I was listening to the Ticket, I heard a man who seemed to be unhappy with what was going on in the world around him as well. The Uniform Czar, who tries to preach the gospel of great looking sports uniforms, was also disgusted by what he saw in the wrestling industry. He could only take so much of people looking like they got their wrestling gear from a local Hot Topic that he decided it was time for him to leave the Ticket airwaves and get into the wrestling business in order to make a difference. So I got in touch with him, we hatched a plan, and now we're part of the UWA. And my first match? I'm entering my name into the hat of the open battle royal, where the winner will be crowned the UWA Television Champion!
All of a sudden, we hear "The Great Gate of Kiev by Mussorgsky playing over the PA system inside Chili's. Chris Chris looks all around as the music dies down and a deep voice reverberates throughout the restaurant.
Chris Chris! It is I, the Uniform Czar!
Welcome, Mr. Uniform Czar. May I ask what brings your presence here today?
I am here to share my disdain with some of the wrestling attire I have seen of late, specifically that of your fellow UWA competitors. Let me start with one UWA Intercontinental Champion, Jakob.
Dude, I don't think he's even in my match...
SILENCE!
We somehow hear a thunder clap reverberate throughout the restaurant. Probably someone off camera messing with sound effects. We're not really sure.
To use something you said earlier, Jakob looks like he hit up the local Hot Topic, picked out some jeans and a T-shirt and thought "Alright, now I look like a wrestler!" He may be a talented individual, as evidenced by the fact that he's the UWA Intercontinental Champion. But you wouldn't know it by how much of a slob he looks.
OK, how about someone who could potentially be in my match, say, Denise du Pris?
Denise's attire seems a bit more acceptable. Black leather pants and a black top have always been a great look on female competitors. However, she seems to be wearing that garb for all the wrong reasons. I have noticed that people like her try to dress to look cool or to try and compensate by trying to convince people that they're real bad asses. The purpose of wrestling attire is to help fans realize that you are indeed a true wrestler and not some idiot that works at McDonald's during the week and wrestles on weekends. In other words, wrestling attire should make you look like a wrestler, not someone who was rejected during auditions for Twilight or Batman.
What about my ring attire, Uniform Czar?
Your attire makes you look like a true wrestler, Chris Chris. Whether it be the bright orange with purple trim leg length tights, or the dark purple with bright orange trim leg length tights, your attire screams "I am a true professional wrestler." The headband, shades and jacket you wear when you enter the ring are the icing on the cake. And lastly, the white wrist tape and black elbow pads round out a great professional look. I must go now, but not before I wish you good luck in your debut at Fall Brawl, where hopefully we will be witnessing the crowning of you as UWA Television Champion.
"The Great Gate of Kiev" by Mussorgsky plays once more as it seems that the "presence" of the Uniform Czar has left the building. Chris Chris turns his attention back to his iPhone, which again, serves as his camera.
Dude, let me tell you. Everything the UC says is pure gospel, man. Well, my food should be arriving here any minute. See you all next week on Fall Brawl as I become UWA Television Cham...
Chris Chris is interrupted by a burly man with short dark hair, wearing khakis and a red dress shirt. He doesn't seem to be amused in the least.
Chris Chris! You were supposed to be on the floor fifteen minutes ago! We haven't been able to seat any customers because the servers are not only slammed taking care of the customers they already have in their section, but they have to bus their own tables to because you're goofing off on your phone instead of doing your job as a busboy!
A look of panic comes over Chris Chris' face as it appears that he's been outed for his part time job that he holds down when he's not wrestling.
Oh my god, I've been exposed for who I really am!
Chris Chris throws the iPhone down, and the camera from said phone points up towards the ceiling as Chris Chris has apparently run off. We can hear the door swing open, followed by tires screeching and...
CRASH!!!
Only stunned silence seems to permeate throughout the restaurant. Even though we can't see anything due to the iPhone camera being pointed up towards the ceiling, it's apparent that people are concerned about the well being of Chris Chris... OR NOT! "Ants Marching" by Dave Matthews Band kicks back in as Chris Chris picks up his iPhone, all smiles and not a scratch on his face, shouting...
[/color][/i]The Incredibly Unreal Yet True Story Of Chris Chris 001
As seen on Chris Chris' Dailymotion channel, RealChrisChris1310
"Ants Marching" by the Dave Matthews Band plays in the background as the following message scrolls up on the screen.
In a land, far, far away... OK, in Dallas, Texas... there was a man who dreamed of becoming a legend in professional wrestling. Enjoy the ride as this man, Chris Chris, allows you to join him on his journey to greatness.
The shot switches to show Chris Chris, sitting down at a booth inside what looks to be Chili's, specifically the Dallas location found in the Casa Linda Plaza. His hair is spiked up, and he's wearing a blue headband with the Dallas Mavericks emblem on it, a grey Dallas Mavericks 2011 NBA Finals Champions T-shirt, and shades with blue rims. He takes a sip of sweet tea, then proceeds to introduce himself to the viewing audience. It's quite obvious that he's holding an iPhone up, recording this video himself.
What's up, P1s?! I want to thank you for being a part of history, as you are watching the premiere episode of Destined For Greatness: The Incredibly Unreal Yet True Story Of Chris Chris. You see, anybody can post a video on Youtube and get hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of hits. But how many people do you know can get that many views on Dailymotion?! Everybody thinks I'm crazy for putting this show on the Motion. But you see, I'm out to innovate, not imitate! Why do what everybody else is doing and post a show on Youtube when I can be original and post it on Dailymotion? Besides, you'd really have to be breaking some laws or be incredibly stupid to get your video deleted off the Motion, where as the Tube seems to delete vids left and right, ya' know?
Now what exactly is this show all about, you P1s ask? Well it's quite simple. Well, ever since I was a little Chris Chris, I grew up watching wrestling. I idolized the likes of the Von Erichs, the Fabulous Freebirds, Sting, Ultimo Dragon, Brian Pillman, Hulk Hogan, Bret Hart, the Ultimate Warrior, Mr. Perfect, Shawn Michaels, and my all time favorite, "Macho Man" Randy Savage. When I turned 18, I decided to turn that dream into a reality by training with Ak. That's the late, great Skandor Akbar for those of you not so hip. Anyway, me and Ak hit it off quite well, and I seemed to impress him easily, moreso than his other standout student, some scrub by the name of RD Evans. But despite being the best student to come out of Ak's school, I couldn't seem to catch any breaks for the life of me. Mostly because that punk Evans kid lied about me to all the promoters, keeping me from getting booked. But I decided, "You know what? Maybe the wrestling business isn't right for me." So I decided to try a different career, opting to go into the radio business. Sure, I could've gone on the air if I wanted, and I did on several occasions. But man, the real money was in the sales department, joining the SFC... that's Six Figs Club, meaning I made six figures a year... all for selling advertising for a Dallas radio station, 1310 the Ticket.
I was set, man. Got me a nice condo that the Cubes... Mark Cuban for you not so cool folk... Tony Romo, and Mike Modano would all come and visit. On weekends, I'd take them out on the lake in my yacht, and afterwards, we would totally slay it out on the golf course. However, over the years, I couldn't help but feel empty despite all the money, the condos, the cars, the boats, and the nice tail I'd score. And one night, I caught some of the UWA on television, and it hit me. That feeling of emptiness came from giving up on my real dream. My dream of becoming a legend in wrestling, man. Here are guys and gals who can't even string together two wins in a row, yet they can get an action figure and get themselves into a video game. It was enough to make me sick. Then one day, as I was listening to the Ticket, I heard a man who seemed to be unhappy with what was going on in the world around him as well. The Uniform Czar, who tries to preach the gospel of great looking sports uniforms, was also disgusted by what he saw in the wrestling industry. He could only take so much of people looking like they got their wrestling gear from a local Hot Topic that he decided it was time for him to leave the Ticket airwaves and get into the wrestling business in order to make a difference. So I got in touch with him, we hatched a plan, and now we're part of the UWA. And my first match? I'm entering my name into the hat of the open battle royal, where the winner will be crowned the UWA Television Champion!
All of a sudden, we hear "The Great Gate of Kiev by Mussorgsky playing over the PA system inside Chili's. Chris Chris looks all around as the music dies down and a deep voice reverberates throughout the restaurant.
Chris Chris! It is I, the Uniform Czar!
Welcome, Mr. Uniform Czar. May I ask what brings your presence here today?
I am here to share my disdain with some of the wrestling attire I have seen of late, specifically that of your fellow UWA competitors. Let me start with one UWA Intercontinental Champion, Jakob.
Dude, I don't think he's even in my match...
SILENCE!
We somehow hear a thunder clap reverberate throughout the restaurant. Probably someone off camera messing with sound effects. We're not really sure.
To use something you said earlier, Jakob looks like he hit up the local Hot Topic, picked out some jeans and a T-shirt and thought "Alright, now I look like a wrestler!" He may be a talented individual, as evidenced by the fact that he's the UWA Intercontinental Champion. But you wouldn't know it by how much of a slob he looks.
OK, how about someone who could potentially be in my match, say, Denise du Pris?
Denise's attire seems a bit more acceptable. Black leather pants and a black top have always been a great look on female competitors. However, she seems to be wearing that garb for all the wrong reasons. I have noticed that people like her try to dress to look cool or to try and compensate by trying to convince people that they're real bad asses. The purpose of wrestling attire is to help fans realize that you are indeed a true wrestler and not some idiot that works at McDonald's during the week and wrestles on weekends. In other words, wrestling attire should make you look like a wrestler, not someone who was rejected during auditions for Twilight or Batman.
What about my ring attire, Uniform Czar?
Your attire makes you look like a true wrestler, Chris Chris. Whether it be the bright orange with purple trim leg length tights, or the dark purple with bright orange trim leg length tights, your attire screams "I am a true professional wrestler." The headband, shades and jacket you wear when you enter the ring are the icing on the cake. And lastly, the white wrist tape and black elbow pads round out a great professional look. I must go now, but not before I wish you good luck in your debut at Fall Brawl, where hopefully we will be witnessing the crowning of you as UWA Television Champion.
"The Great Gate of Kiev" by Mussorgsky plays once more as it seems that the "presence" of the Uniform Czar has left the building. Chris Chris turns his attention back to his iPhone, which again, serves as his camera.
Dude, let me tell you. Everything the UC says is pure gospel, man. Well, my food should be arriving here any minute. See you all next week on Fall Brawl as I become UWA Television Cham...
Chris Chris is interrupted by a burly man with short dark hair, wearing khakis and a red dress shirt. He doesn't seem to be amused in the least.
Chris Chris! You were supposed to be on the floor fifteen minutes ago! We haven't been able to seat any customers because the servers are not only slammed taking care of the customers they already have in their section, but they have to bus their own tables to because you're goofing off on your phone instead of doing your job as a busboy!
A look of panic comes over Chris Chris' face as it appears that he's been outed for his part time job that he holds down when he's not wrestling.
Oh my god, I've been exposed for who I really am!
Chris Chris throws the iPhone down, and the camera from said phone points up towards the ceiling as Chris Chris has apparently run off. We can hear the door swing open, followed by tires screeching and...
CRASH!!!
Only stunned silence seems to permeate throughout the restaurant. Even though we can't see anything due to the iPhone camera being pointed up towards the ceiling, it's apparent that people are concerned about the well being of Chris Chris... OR NOT! "Ants Marching" by Dave Matthews Band kicks back in as Chris Chris picks up his iPhone, all smiles and not a scratch on his face, shouting...
HAHA! Just like that car out there missed me and hit a parked car as I dove out of the way, everyone in the open battle royal will miss me when they try to throw me out of the ring! Just try me, you losers! HAHAHA!
"Ants Marching" continues to play as the show fades to black.[/center]