Post by Classy J on Mar 22, 2012 19:56:36 GMT -5
Wednesday, late at night.
Classy often chose to work late at night because that was when Fredward was out at work, of course he'd let Fredward do his job as janitor but he always made a point to save the gym for last since J. worked out at that time.
Currently Classy was doing crunches while hanging upside down from the curl-up bar, he wasn't wearing his hat or shades of course because he was hanging upside down most of the time.
"So this Muru guy's a big deal yeah?"
"Yup, apparently they screwed him over at the other place he worked at."
"What is it with wrestling promotions screwing people?"
"They say wrestlin' promoters're the worst human beings on the planet."
"Yeah I guess, I mean I can relate a little, I was at this other fed once and I was a little outspoken about certain things. None of the girls liked me because I called people out for sleeping with higher ups. But it doesn't sound like this guys got the same issues."
"Dunno, maybe you should ask him."
"He sounds a little too full of himself, acts that way too, doesn't wanna be anyone's friend or nothing. Guess he never heard what an asshole Jim Warrior was."
"Who's that?"
"Ultimate."
"Oh, I've heard things. You know tha--"
"No there wasn't more than one, it's all the same person, there was a guy called Renegade who was a cyborg version of him created by Jimmy Hart but that's about it."
"....huh."
He'd continue doing a few more crunches before backflipping off of the pull up bar, landing perfectly on his feet.
"Whatever, if I wanna get back at Jake I have to beat him right? Best thing I got going is that this dude won't fight dirty since he's supposed to be Mr. Nice Guy even though he's a prick to everyone he works with. What's he gonna do when he suddenly needs a tag partner for whatever reason?"
"Hire a bodyguard?"
"Good guys don't hire bodyguards!"
"But Joanne's a nice lady."
"She's also a crime boss and I have to make sure she doesn't kill anyone so she doesn't lose her job."
Afterwards there'd be a topic shift to talking about other things, nothing related to wrestling though, it was pretty much all they did. Fredward had lots of interesting storys to tell and Classy had a few of his own.
NEXT DAY!
Backstage in the locker room, Classy would be stretching out when he heard a knock on the door, he'd sigh, standing up and walking over. Stopping of course to put his Fedora and sunglasses on before heading over and opening the door. Why it was Ashley!!
"Oh, I was worried it might've been Mathew."
He'd stroll out closing the door, Ashley had her questions on index cards that were out of sight of the camera.
"So you're the main even tonight with Muru, how do you feel?"
She'd point the mic towards Classy who just realized that he was the main event.
"Oh, really? Well that's cool, I guess I better main event it up then. But....and forgive me for using the lazies insult in pro wrestling.....but what kind of name is Muru? It sounds Japanese but the gentleman is obviously not Japanese, my only guess is that it means something. Maybe he was trying to sound like Muta? But why would he wanna do that if he's such the nice guy he misleads the audience into thinking he is?"
He'd turn to the Camera. "Muru help me out here, did your parents love Japanese culture so they decided to give you an asian sounding name?"
He'd shrug and then look back to Ashley.
"Other than that I feel pretty good."
"Well we understand you're trying to get a rematch with Jake."
"Yup, I'm not sure if I'm granted a rematch since I never had the belt to begin with but even if I am I''m gonna try and win all my matches so I'm going in strong. So far I'd say I'm doing pretty good, I've got a win, Jake doesn't."
"You know Muru's been around a long time, are you sure you're not in over your head?"
"No, you know why? Because old guys are predictable, they got the same routine and you've seen it a bunch of times. First they start having a seizure and then you keep punching them but that only makes it worse. Then they point at you because they're obviously annoyed that you keep hitting them. So they ask you to stop by wagging their finger..."
"Um..I don't think Muru does that."
"You're right, he doesn't, he's probably going to say the typical 'oh you're not really Classy, you're just a punk, you're not a real fighter, you don't have honor, why do they have me facing some chump, you're not worth my time, blahblah blah blahblah, You're a kid, hurfdedurf.' "
And then he'd do a fake angry flex to top of the impersonation. It probably wasn't accurate but generally that's what everyone said about him. He figured if he said it before they did then they'd be speechless. It was a long shot but why not?
"However, I will give Muru a piece of advice. I heard how you talked down to the new girl. I'd be careful with that, especially if you're setting your sites on the big gold belt. I'm sure you already noticed it, getting booed for how you talked about Mia. Hell, I even got my fair share of boos when I was up against Emma. But the freason I'm still not getting the same treatment is cuz my issues with her had nothing to do with what she's got between her legs."
At this point he would motion behind him.
"I'm not gonna put someone down for having a pair of nice breasts."
Fortunately it must've flown over Ashley's head.
"But that's not what I'm warning you about. Back to the big gold belt. The lady who's currently got it right now, she's vicious as it is, but you start knocking a crime boss for being a lady and I'm not gonna guarantee you have both your kidneys in the near future."
He'd chuckle for a moment and remove his sunglasses, looking the camera in it's...eye.
"But you don't gotta worry, I'll make sure you don't even get that far. Last thing we need is another wrestler past his prime trying to keep the belt for himself."
He'd pet Ashley on the head and walk off. Ending the interview.
Classy often chose to work late at night because that was when Fredward was out at work, of course he'd let Fredward do his job as janitor but he always made a point to save the gym for last since J. worked out at that time.
Currently Classy was doing crunches while hanging upside down from the curl-up bar, he wasn't wearing his hat or shades of course because he was hanging upside down most of the time.
"So this Muru guy's a big deal yeah?"
"Yup, apparently they screwed him over at the other place he worked at."
"What is it with wrestling promotions screwing people?"
"They say wrestlin' promoters're the worst human beings on the planet."
"Yeah I guess, I mean I can relate a little, I was at this other fed once and I was a little outspoken about certain things. None of the girls liked me because I called people out for sleeping with higher ups. But it doesn't sound like this guys got the same issues."
"Dunno, maybe you should ask him."
"He sounds a little too full of himself, acts that way too, doesn't wanna be anyone's friend or nothing. Guess he never heard what an asshole Jim Warrior was."
"Who's that?"
"Ultimate."
"Oh, I've heard things. You know tha--"
"No there wasn't more than one, it's all the same person, there was a guy called Renegade who was a cyborg version of him created by Jimmy Hart but that's about it."
"....huh."
He'd continue doing a few more crunches before backflipping off of the pull up bar, landing perfectly on his feet.
"Whatever, if I wanna get back at Jake I have to beat him right? Best thing I got going is that this dude won't fight dirty since he's supposed to be Mr. Nice Guy even though he's a prick to everyone he works with. What's he gonna do when he suddenly needs a tag partner for whatever reason?"
"Hire a bodyguard?"
"Good guys don't hire bodyguards!"
"But Joanne's a nice lady."
"She's also a crime boss and I have to make sure she doesn't kill anyone so she doesn't lose her job."
Afterwards there'd be a topic shift to talking about other things, nothing related to wrestling though, it was pretty much all they did. Fredward had lots of interesting storys to tell and Classy had a few of his own.
NEXT DAY!
Backstage in the locker room, Classy would be stretching out when he heard a knock on the door, he'd sigh, standing up and walking over. Stopping of course to put his Fedora and sunglasses on before heading over and opening the door. Why it was Ashley!!
"Oh, I was worried it might've been Mathew."
He'd stroll out closing the door, Ashley had her questions on index cards that were out of sight of the camera.
"So you're the main even tonight with Muru, how do you feel?"
She'd point the mic towards Classy who just realized that he was the main event.
"Oh, really? Well that's cool, I guess I better main event it up then. But....and forgive me for using the lazies insult in pro wrestling.....but what kind of name is Muru? It sounds Japanese but the gentleman is obviously not Japanese, my only guess is that it means something. Maybe he was trying to sound like Muta? But why would he wanna do that if he's such the nice guy he misleads the audience into thinking he is?"
He'd turn to the Camera. "Muru help me out here, did your parents love Japanese culture so they decided to give you an asian sounding name?"
He'd shrug and then look back to Ashley.
"Other than that I feel pretty good."
"Well we understand you're trying to get a rematch with Jake."
"Yup, I'm not sure if I'm granted a rematch since I never had the belt to begin with but even if I am I''m gonna try and win all my matches so I'm going in strong. So far I'd say I'm doing pretty good, I've got a win, Jake doesn't."
"You know Muru's been around a long time, are you sure you're not in over your head?"
"No, you know why? Because old guys are predictable, they got the same routine and you've seen it a bunch of times. First they start having a seizure and then you keep punching them but that only makes it worse. Then they point at you because they're obviously annoyed that you keep hitting them. So they ask you to stop by wagging their finger..."
"Um..I don't think Muru does that."
"You're right, he doesn't, he's probably going to say the typical 'oh you're not really Classy, you're just a punk, you're not a real fighter, you don't have honor, why do they have me facing some chump, you're not worth my time, blahblah blah blahblah, You're a kid, hurfdedurf.' "
And then he'd do a fake angry flex to top of the impersonation. It probably wasn't accurate but generally that's what everyone said about him. He figured if he said it before they did then they'd be speechless. It was a long shot but why not?
"However, I will give Muru a piece of advice. I heard how you talked down to the new girl. I'd be careful with that, especially if you're setting your sites on the big gold belt. I'm sure you already noticed it, getting booed for how you talked about Mia. Hell, I even got my fair share of boos when I was up against Emma. But the freason I'm still not getting the same treatment is cuz my issues with her had nothing to do with what she's got between her legs."
At this point he would motion behind him.
"I'm not gonna put someone down for having a pair of nice breasts."
Fortunately it must've flown over Ashley's head.
"But that's not what I'm warning you about. Back to the big gold belt. The lady who's currently got it right now, she's vicious as it is, but you start knocking a crime boss for being a lady and I'm not gonna guarantee you have both your kidneys in the near future."
He'd chuckle for a moment and remove his sunglasses, looking the camera in it's...eye.
"But you don't gotta worry, I'll make sure you don't even get that far. Last thing we need is another wrestler past his prime trying to keep the belt for himself."
He'd pet Ashley on the head and walk off. Ending the interview.
