" HIM "

[Odin Balfore]

“ HIM “


RP1
UWA
PPV- Fall Brawl
Handicap Match

Odin Balfore
vs.
Andy Starr & Natalia Knight.




____________________________
Scene One- HIM
( A Monologue)


HIM… what, if any, do you call him? Hell, what’s left to call him? Odin Balfore is man that’s been around for far too long and has done far too much, almost to the point where his career itself has become a myth.

“ Have you heard about Odin Balfore?” they’ve whispered.

“ Have you heard about Odin Balfore?” they’ve talked.

Have you heard about the man whose not really a man but a name… have YOU heard about the man who HEARD about the man named Odin Balfore?

There’s a lot of speculation about HIM, a lot of rumors.. Some say that he’s not a man at all, some forgotten monster conjured by a circle of witches from an age long since passed. Some say he scored four touch downs in a single high school football game.. Still there are some that insist that Odin Balfore never even existed at all. Although I’m sure that if you searched the earth enough you’ll find a few people who wish that any of that was the case.. But it’s not.

So what do we call the man that never existed; I’ll tell you.

You call him Conqueror, vanquisher, hero, villain, defender, tyrant, sinner, saint, recluse, madman, genius, challenger and champion. Oh yes, you can call him many things, anything your heart so desires. He has heard it all because he HAS existed for quite some time but weather you call him Maverick or Elite, The lawman or The Nordic Tank.. It does not matter because those are all names bestowed upon him by those who have seem him in the flesh

so what do YOU call HIM who goes by so many names.. Simple, you put them all together.. You put them all together and call the man what he truly is..

A BAD MOTHA FUCKA!



___________________________________________
Scene Two: The Mistake

* Odin Balfore sits quietly in a chapel filled with people all dressed in similar attire. Wedding bells can be heard as “ hear comes the bride” begins to play on the chapel organ. The beautiful bride to be makes her way down the isle as her soon to be husband looks on with tears welling in his eyes. Their family and friends display a wide range of emotions as the bride steps ever closer. She steps towards Odin’s Isle as he makes his way towards the main isle and stands in front of the bride, putting his hand out and stops her right where she is. *

Odin: Not today, suga tits.

* Suga tits? The crowd gasps.. I would to, I mean, suga tits? I’m not sure what to gasp at more to be frank. *

Odin: This ain’t nothing personal -

* Odin thinks that over for a moment. *

Odin: Well, yeah, it kinda is.

* The groom marches up to Odin with fire in his eyes. *

Odin: Sit the fuck down Ko-Jack, you don’t want a piece of this.

* Odin takes a step forward out from between them and addresses the chapel. *

Odin: Now, you may all be wonder just who the hell I am and why the hell I’m interrupting the worst mistake of this these two young kids lives.. I’ll start by answering the sex- second question. I’m here before all of you today, in from of the lord himself because I want you all to know that this is going to be the second biggest mistake of a young couples life. I - I want to tell you a story of these two kids that well.. I haven’t even met yet but by the end of the week, I’ll know very well. I want to tell you a story about Andy Star and Natalia Knight.

Now I’m sure these two kids, like your fine too kids are “ in love’ because that’s the cool thing to do, right ? Right! Of Course, like all kids they think they’re untouchable.. Unbeatable, inseparable. There they stand in ignorance, basking in the rays of bliss. I know for a fact that can find at least ten people in this room who are divorced. I know for a fact that I can find ten people in this room that think this who idea of marriage is a crock an a shame. Even more still I can find ten people who think that these two aren’t truly happy, know that are completely separable, vulnerable, insecure and foolish.

These two young.. Wonderful, apples of their parents ungrateful and gawking eyes are just two kids.. They’re children no more then twenty. That’s the same story with Andy and Natalia, they’re just children. They think that together they are unbeatable, untouchable, that with passion and determination that they can overcome any odd that life throws at them. That would be also true if life had given them an obstacle that’s wasn’t ME! You see, like most of you, I’ve done it all, seen it all and damn near heard it all. We all know there’s nothing these two kids standing in the isle can say or do that wouldn’t surprise us just like there’s nothing Andy and Natalia can do that will surprise me.

I’m here to tell all of you and both of them that their biggest mistake in life has yet to happen but sooner then they think, it’ll catch up to them.

Who am I? I’m the greatest mistake of their lives. I’m the face of reality and sometime reality ain’t pretty.

* yea, you’re telling us guy. *

Odin: So I want them to revel in this bliss that they all seem to have in common because its going to come crashing down on them. Both of them are about to face the toughest challenge they will ever face in their entire lives and well.. They’re going to do it together. Isn’t what today’s all about; about facing life together as one being, souls forever connected by the bond of love? Yeah, that’s what today’s about but tomorrow, the day after, folks, the day after is a different story as my two soon to be close personal friends will find out.

Tomorrow is the day when you stop living and loving as one and start fighting and hating and falling apart as two totally different beings, both blaming the other for your very downfall. Marriage isn’t an institution it’s the begging of the end and I do believe I hear wedding bells for Andy and Natalia.

* Odin cups his hand to his ear. *

Odin: I believe I do and tomorrow they’re mistake will be they’re undoing. In reality it takes more then passion and heart adversity. It takes knowledge, experience, a little jack and coke with a twist of lime.. Sometimes a copy of “ Big & Juicy “ and some icy hot. These say they’re stars, that they got talent; I don’t see it. What I do see though is the beginning of the end. This lovey - dovey crap stops here.

It stops when they step into the ring with me.

It stops when they step into the ring with Odin Balfore

Now you all enjoy your day, while it’s still nice enough for you too enjoy it.

* Odin nods his head as he heads back up the isle an out the door, leaving the patrons to continue going about their business. *



____________________________________________
Scene Three: What its About.


* Recently UWA reporters caught up with Odin as he touched down in Florida to prepare for his debut match at Fall Brawl. Odin’s old pal Jeremy Borsh. Odin Groans as he sees them coming and yet continues to walk towards them, adjusting the red tie of his suit and then his sun glasses. With suitcase and duffle bag in toe Jeremy an Odin meet face to face. *

Odin: Jeez Jeremy, I don’t know if you’re a virus or a re occurring one night stand. Well.. I guess they’re equally the same. Are you here to run through the motions ?

Jeremy: Unfortunately.. They give me this list of talking points an it really sucks.

Odin: Lets get through it an we’ll go grab a beer.

Jeremy: Well, how do you feel about coming in UWA?

Odin: How do I feel.. I feel like the rest of the world now that Roy Speede Champion.

Jeremy: What do you mean?

Odin: I feel jiped, feel a little cheated. I come in to help out Blake and Roy Speede is champion? Not only that but my first match is two on one handicap match? That’s how I’m showed thanks? Jeremy, we’ve been friends for along time. What do I do when I feel jiped and cheated, when my talents aren’t appreciated.

Jeremy: Watch a Bambi marathon and draw similarities onto your life?

Odin: No, that’s Nate Bishop. What I do is I stop playing by the rules. I step into the ring an I work stiff, like real stiff.. John Holms stiff.

Jeremy: No one is going to get that reference.

Odin: They will soon Enough because Odin Balfore, is debuting on a pay per view against UWA best little couple? Jeremy that’s just a recipe for me to go out there and destroy them in the ring. You might as well call them Bonnie and Clyde, Thelma and Louise, Romeo and Juliet because at the end of the days they’re just not making it out alive. Blake as a conciliation to me not ringing Speede girly little neck gave me the handicap match and for that I’ll show my gratitude when these two kids learn what it means to really step between those ropes against a man who most think is a myth.

Jeremy, I’m seven foot tall, weigh over three hundred pounds. And I’m pissed off! What part of that do they think they’re going to overcome? I’m not slow, I’m not dumb.. I wait. I watch and then.. Before they even knew it.. Its all over. I know they’ll get on TV and the fans will “ pop” for them and they’ll be all smiles and rainbow farts and what not talk, talking about how I obviously don’t know what I’m talking about. I guarantee you that they’ll say I’m wrong, dumb, slow, pig headed , I don’t know what I’m talking about, that I -

“ Never faced anything like them before”

But..

I have.

Truth of the matter is that I faced them already. I can look back, get this posture, the look in their eyes and study that. They’ll say that they have all the heart and soul, passion and desire to win and that they’ll keep on coming no matter what I dish out, that I can’t possibly defeat their deadly combination.. And they couldn’t be more wrong. They’ll ignore my warning to not sleep on me during this match they’ll come out first all smiles and bushy eyed with the little fan boys and girls with their cheesy mediocre pop because they’re so green they still attractive and then when the lights go down - like way down- like US economy down then my theme music just hit’s the PA system an it just deafens the entire house and MY hardcore fans are chanting my name and they’re chanting along wit the song because that’s our war anthem!

When that happens, Andy and Natalia will look around and see that they’ve been mentally, emotionally and physically abandoned by those who had just moments ago believed in them because Odin Balfore has made himself known in the area. That’s when I’ll stop at the top of the ramp and just look around as my fans chant and scream along with the war cry- that’s when you know that shit ain’t gonna go in your favor. That’s when the butterflies and the knots start to well up in your stomach and your knees turn to goo. Their desire doesn’t overcome that, it doesn’t feed off that. Their heart will do nothing for them except sink. When that happens an I can see the look into their eyes grow cold and fearful, that’s when I walk down the ramp towards the ring.

Theres thousands of people cheering for me, screaming my theme song with hate, with fire, with passion and with the thirst for blood and that’s what they’re going to get. My fans have seen me transition and change, evolve an adapt. Its that adaptation that’s been the key to my successful career. I saw a sign the other day that some kid made that said “ Odin Balfore: owning newbs since 1999 “ and that’s pretty much the most accurate statement of my career.

You have Odin Balfore whose been wrecking houses, promotions, wrestlers, just everything for way longer then either of two will have combined careers. They don’t have that “ X “ factor or even a “ factor” to begin with. They think they’re pretty people with some athletic talent so that means they can wrestle.. that’s never been such the case. These kids have haven’t been tested, UWA isn’t a testing ground. I’m the biggest, baddest talent there is here- pretty much everywhere you wana go; so to have these little love puppies come out here and try and tell me an you anything different is just Cosby.

* ridiculous *

Odin: I’m going to step in between those ropes and that’s when they face their biggest mistake of their lives. Either Andy will bolt behind Natalia or stand up in front of her and show his true colors. Either Natalia will cover in the corner or try and be a big brave girl.. An Odin likes a big brave girl.

* the bigger the better >_’ *

Odin: To me, it don’t matter because I’m going to knock their heads off with a big boot. I’m not going to get in there to coach them or teach them. If they can’t hang with smash mouth, in your face wrestling then too fucking bad. Blake wants to put me in a handicap match, he better damn well bank on the fact that I’m going to cripple these two kids an that its on his head. He knows better. Go take a look at Bishop.. I’m surprised that kids still alive after the beating I gave him a while back in another fed.

Jeremy: What do you think about that open battle Royal for the TV title.

Odin: Ahh, ya know.. I might just enter it; if only to put the rest of the roster on call. I want them all to know that The Nordic Tank is in UWA an I’m not here to pander to any bruised ego’s.. if you don’t like the way I do business or can’t handle how I deal with my business, then get the fuck out of my way. I can tell you right now Jeremy that both Andy an Natalia won’t like the way I do either.

Ya know, there’s a sicker side of me that wishes they’ll just keep getting up so that I can keep knocking them down and rubbing their faces in it. Maybe I’ll string up Andy in the ropes, vice his head in between them and make him watch as I pick his little sweetie pie apart, limb from limb and then deliver her to Ragnarok. Then I’ll move onto Andy , toy around with him- play a little cat and mouse as his little girl lays on the mat motionless hoping to god that I didn’t break her spine. I’ll let the rage build up in Andy, I’ll relish it like a fine wine…

* Or a fat chick, either one.. Ya know.. Just sayin. *

Odin: Then when the fans demand it.. I crush him, pick up him and slam him threw the damn mat with my Mark.. Throw him on top of her, put my big oafish foot on his chest.. Get the fuckin three count, raise my meat hook of a hand.. Spit on those two pieces of human shit and walk out of the fucking area having cleared two of UWA brightest hopefuls in one match..

Everyone wants to talk about making a statement, about making an Impact.. Me? I’m beyond all that.. For me.. Its about being one BAD MOTHA FUCKA!

SO I HAVE SPOKEN.. SO IT SHALL COME TO PASS!

* Odin walks off with a nod to his friend as he continues down the airport hallway to get ready for his match. *



~~FINN